What Type of Happiness Describes You?

You want to be happy. You want your children and those you love to be happy. You know that being happy means you will be healthier, optimistic about life and attractive to other people.

But did you know there are three different types of happiness we all experience, but only one that matters?

After 30 years as a clinical psychologist (now retired) and 10,000 clients working with me in over 45,000 hours of therapy, I’ve figured out the three types of happiness. Here are the types. Which best describes the last happy moment in your life?

Level 1: You get something, or something is done to you. Stuff. You spend your day thinking of how to make or get more stuff and are only happy when consuming or receiving things or experiences. More money, a bigger house, car, jewelry promotion at work. It feels great for a few minutes or hours but then leaves you. Level 1 happiness often will drive you to focus on acquiring more things. It is the only thing that brings you happiness. It doesn’t feel that great in the end and leaves you quickly.

Level 2: You are happy when you do something. You love your work. You only feel happiness when you work. This could include helping others. It means that you often make many personal sacrifices to keep working. It’s also why retirement is challenging if you live in Level 2. We see this in watching many professional athletes or musicians after they retire. How many comebacks or last-chance tours of a musician have you witnessed? Happiness or joy in Level 2 often results from doing something to help someone else. It is a great feeling, but like Level 1, it is not happiness that lasts long.

Level 3 Deep Happiness. It is internal; you can experience this daily, regardless of what is happening around you. An excellent way to explain it is to think if you had to go to get some blood tests because you weren’t feeling well. The Dr. tells you he is concerned, and your symptoms are consistent with a severe illness. You do the tests, and three weeks later, the phone rings.  It’s excellent news. You are fine. There is no illness. At that moment and for a period after that, life is fantastic. The little things make you smile. The smell of the air, a simple talk with someone you love is cherished and brings you deep, boundless joy. That is deep happiness. It also leaves you soon, but the feeling is more profound than those of Level 1 or 2.

I learned from my 10,000 clients that Level 3 is the most helpful and sought-after. But rather than wait for a call from a doctor’s office with good news, is there a way to experience Level 3 happiness daily? The answer is yes, and in a couple of weeks, I’ll share where you can learn more. For now, think and look back on your life. What type of happiness have you been experiencing?